Let it Go

We were created by God to need each other. We are children of the King, brothers and sisters in Christ. Relationships matter to God (and to me).  Families matter to God (and to me).

Few things are more painful than unresolved family conflict. Domineering individuals, confused and independent teens, or jealous siblings can create a battlefield involving every member of the family.  Whose turn it is to take out the trash  or do the dishes?  Did you clean your room before asking to go to the Friday night football game?  Did you ask permission to wear your sister's shirt?  Extremely irritating and bothersome but, in the big scheme of things, these are minor issues that can be resolved easily.  Families of all kinds are faced with bigger challenges such as drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, teen pregnancy, different values and beliefs, divorce and many more issues.  The solutions to these issues often take more effort and time from everyone involved. 

As we grow and mature so should our relationships. But the reality is that the problems don't magically disappear as we grow up. Therefore, as adults we should accept our differences with family members, and love them anyway, focus on the positives, let go and hope for the best. . To have a relationship or to love each other we don't have to be the same and we don't have to like everything that the other one does. We can love through all the things we don't like.   New differences will arise. Mistakes will be made.  Disagreements will take place. But in no way do these things change the deep love we have for one another. No one is going anywhere. We are family and that means we’re all safe. Right?

Lessons Learned

These thoughts were from a few months ago but I want to share.  

To whom it may concern,

Sometime Friday in the early morning hours you searched my neighborhood taking things that did not belong to you. Once you rummaged my niece's car and took the garage opener, you helped yourself to a new means of transportation. Forcing the Jeep out of my garage damaged another vehicle and other personal property. What on earth made you think this behavior was acceptable?

Thank you for the reminder of what really matters in life.  My faith, health, family, friends and strength are better than the material things you helped yourself to without permission.  I am proud of what I have accomplished that allows me to maintain this quality of life you will never understand with your current ways. My family and friends now have a new story to tell and we have learned a few lessons from the experience.

Let me tell you some of my lessons. 

1. The Jeep you stole and drove so recklessly was given to a young lady who could teach you many valuable life lessons. She is honest, smart, disciplined. 

2. Items you took or destroyed can be repaired or replaced. You did not cause harm to what really matters to me. 

3. Another point I would like to make is to tell you that all of my items were purchased by me or given to me as gifts. We all know you cannot say the same. (Those designer sunglasses worn by your female accomplice do not count since you stole those also). 

4. While sometimes things go wrong, many more things go right. APD sent out one of their best to take our report. My wonderful husband, great friends, family and even strangers spent time driving the streets of Amarillo, sharing information through social media and offering unconditional support. The officers who work 24/7 to protect and serve found the Jeep and worked diligently to recover evidence that will make you face consequences for your actions. Maybe you can become part of the human race that is loving and kind. 

5. There may have been things that made it easier for you to commit your crimes, but you are still to blame. 

I am sorry for whatever made you mean, cruel and desperate. I believe you count on people being afraid of you and your violent streaks. You need to know that life is not about stealing but earning. Giving makes you a richer person.  I hope you make necessary changes and get help so that you stop putting people through the type of pain you have inflicted on me and my family.

Dear Sydney

Before I was a mom I had determined I was going to be an authoritative parent. I would have rules and limits, but I would follow them through with patience and love. I never had a lot of patience but thought I would learn it easily. Three kids later my dreams of a perfect home kingdom is slowly crumbling. Parenting is not a true science with black and white rules to follow. Changing things/rules seems the only way to meet the needs of the individuals and the entire family. What's best for one isn't necessarily going to work for another child. Let's face it what works for me may not work for the kids.  

The truth is I am your parent.  I am not your friend. I never thought it would be this hard. The mom I thought I would be doesn't exist. I'm not perfect. I would have failed at any attempt to learn how to parent. 

I will never forget the amazing feeling of holding you for the first time. The new life held in my arms was a perfect package.  You were beautiful, healthy.  You looked like me.  You immediately looked to me to provide for you. Later you began to look up to me.  Those are some big shoes I must try to fill. 

The best way to face today and each day ahead is with baby steps.  This should be the best adventure of our lives. 

Mistakes I've made and may make again include:

1. Expecting the worst

2. Sweating the small stuff and losing my temper over it

3. Ignoring the big stuff 

4. Too much or too little discipline 

5. Too few or inconsistent responsibilities for each family member to contribute to the family 

6. Not putting God does and the family second and individuals third

7. Talking too much and not listening enough 

8. Trying to fix a problem rather than deal with the emotion 

I am sorry for the mistakes I've made. 

Before we know it this time will have passed and it will be just a memory.  I pray that it will be mostly happy ones of volleyball, school events, friends, vacations, etc. 

You are different than any other person on earth. You are an individual.  You are my second born child, the middle child. You are smart. You are beautiful. You are somewhat rebellious. You are strong willed. You are a BIG part of a circle of friends. You are You!  I am proud you are my daughter. 

Look inward not outward. Make a deliberate attempt with me to change how you and I see things.  Don't expect others to change for me and you. 

Remember, I love you no matter what. 

You want a PEACE of me?

After reading several posts on Girlfirends in God, I decided to jot down a few thoughts of my own. Except for my parents who are retired and living at the lake, most people I know frequently comment on how busy they are running here and there. My calendar seems to alarm at least two or threes times each day sending me reminders that the kids need to be picked up from school, my next meeting is 15 minutes away, volleyball practice in 1 hour, pick up the laundry, and on and on it goes. This is just living in today's society. I have enough to worry about that I honestly do not need or want anyone else's choas placed on my shoulders.

I say I want peace and harmony at home, work and in my social life. The problem is that I must give up control in order to reach this sought after state of existence. I must not seek my personal agenda with such resilience and determination that it interferes with my goal of being at peace with the situation. In relationships both parties must be seeking peace and committed to reaching this state of peace. Admittedly, I like a good fight. It is my nature as a red head to battle to the bitter end. But with that said I decided several months ago to surrender and lay down my weapons. This was not an easy decision but one that came after many restless nights of wandering why I could not be a peace. Surrendering was the key to reaching my current state of peaceful existence. It required me to give up rights and control. I allowed God to become my referree and lead me to a place where peace rules.

Hebrews 13:5-6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

GIGGLE FROM BROCK

Brock is 5 and participated this winter in Y basketball. As everyone would expect it is a joyous thing to watch. There is always something to giggle about or to simply laugh until your eyes produce tears. Examples include kids running off the court just to talk to Mom, another standing in the middle of the court going in circles just to experience that dizzy feeling, and yet another finding the perfect time to shine by running with the ball tucked under his arm because the only person trying to take the ball away from him is the ref since the play was dead seconds before.

Throughout his basketball season Brock has insisted that his team name was DEFENSE. His two sisters would argue endlessly with him that no team would be named DEFENSE. So just the other day Brock received in the mail his basketball team picture. Samantha and Sydney were quick to inform Brock that his team name was actually the Celtics. With a disappointed look in his eyes, Brock told me the following. "But Mommy we always huddle and say DEFENSE."

25 Random Things About ME ME ME

I am sure there have been a number of people exposing their intimate information to the prying public through this meme. Undoubtedly, more will follow. It’s actually a rather enjoyable exercise to muse on small things about yourself that most people probably don’t know. I figured it would be tough to come up with 25 worth mentioning; but when I finally got going, it was hard to stop myself at that number. (I’ll have to save the remaining factoids for some later date.) For now, here goes:



Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I really miss Florida!
2. For most of my young life I said that I would never get married. But...my husband, Jarrod, is the best thing in my life. My family philosophy is take care of my husband and together we can take care of our kids.
3. As a kid I hated reading. Now I see reading as the easiest way to continue my education. It teaches me to look outside the box and face the reality that I am not always right about everything.
4. I don't like the unknown or the inability to be in control. But each day I get just a little bit better at living in the moment and letting go of the control thing.
5. My parents are the greatest! They taught me that nothing is impossible and that God is the only way to overcoming difficulties.
6. I am overly blunt. Don't mean to offend anyone. My opinions are exactly that...mine. I don't expect everyone, or anyone for that matter, to agree with me. I just don't mind expressing my thoughts.
7. I love being a mom! Never imagined that the love I have for Sam, Syd and Brock would feel sooooo good.
8. College was the most eye-opening experience of my life. WOW! That's all I can say about that.
9. I recently learned something obvious about myself that I just never opened my eyes to... In everything I do and everyone I meet, I give 100% of my heart. I was taught to trust instantly rather than learning to trust; therefore, I don't make the best judgment of situations and people. End result = heartbreak
10. I believe that the most peaceful place on earth exists in the mountains.
11. Today's technology is terrific! But I miss the day to day chatting with girlfriends on the phone. But then again I really don't have the time for chatting anyways.
12. I miss my granny's beef tips and noodles. They were the best. But Mom does a great job of copycatting.
13. I never get enough of the 3 kids, Jarrod and I cuddling in my bed and watching movies. It's the best way to end the day.
14. I truly understand the saying that "boys love their mommy".
15. I have never been out of the states. I plan to travel to all 50 before I die.
16. I’m comfortable being alone but rarely feel lonely.
17. My two favorite candies are Hot Tamales and the yellow Sour Patch Kids. And once I start eating them I have no willpower to stop.
18. I can't sing, but I continue to try in the car and at church.
19. I know a lot of people, but have less than 10 friends.
20. I prefer the toilet paper to roll off the top.
21. I see the world differently than most people. I no longer make excuses for my behavior. I am what I am. If you can’t Handle me or my behavior then move on. I won’t change for anyone but myself. It took me 40 years to come to this conclusion. You have the choice to take me or leave me.
22. I think toe socks are way cool.
23. I have no ability to decorate a house.
24. I love to watch fireworks but hate to handle them. Could this be a result of being raised by a fireman?
25. REGRETS. I think everyone has them. There are things I wished I had said and things that I said that I wish I could take back. There are people that I wish I would have gotten to know better and others that I could have done without. I wished I had never quit talking to my Mom and sister everyday.I wished I had learned to say "I'm sorry" much earlier in life.There a lots of random, useless facts that I want to know just because.

VOLLEYBALL SEASON HAS OFFICIALLY STARTED

Samantha's vball season is off and running. She had her first tournament this past weekend in OKC. The team had a bumpy start against the first team they faced, which ultimately sent them to the Silver bracket. But the girls put away their fears and were able to dominate everyone else. Eventually winning the GOLD in the Silver bracket division.